A Tangent About My Struggles Writing Fanfiction
i have a love-hate relationship with writing any sort of fiction, but especially fanfic. it's probably just due to inexperience writing, but something about my brain wants to go past all the learning involved and skip to being good already. such is the life of being a perfectionist.
my sister tells me to read more. i suppose that is a good start on paper, but deciphering what the words on the page are on the first place takes precedence over understanding what makes "good" prose. i have got to get diagnosed with dyslexia or some shit, words are my worst enemy.
i suppose that's another reason i struggle so much. i want my writing to look presentable, but since i have an inability to spell words correctly due to the way my brain is wired, i get too caught up in fixing my mistakes than creating new content. some might say i should turn off the ability to back-read, but some of my typos are so catastrophic i cannot tell what i was typing. that's not even getting into me forgetting i already started a sentence and starting a new sentence when there is a sentence that needs punctuation!
i am also obsessive about keeping canon characters as they are in canon, so on top of all of the struggles writing, i am forcing myself to keep characters how they would be acting in canon.
so in short i don't know why i do this to myself, other than the fact i have too many good ideas in my head than i know what to do with.